Day:Hardly Matters
Today i got up with a fresh breath(even if it stinks). It seems to be the only thing going right for me. these journals are truly a pain; a harsh reminder of the cumulative failure that each day of my life adds. I slip into the machinery of the society as usual. the footpath, the bus, the lift and to my cabinet. The cold coffee, the once bit doughnut reminded me of myself. The usual motivating crap from my do-gooder cubicle neighbor. The i mean frown business of the boss successfully tested my urge to not burst out laughing. Endless payrolls. And the company was really enjoyable. People being very generous with there nods and mechanical "mornings".Had slumdog, obama and general elections for lunch;those around the table with there own taste. The golf session to unwind made me feel like shit courtesy my skills. Had intercourse with angry customers who made me feel impotent. Closing time,music to ears. Nosediving again to the stream of humanities,flowing through footpaths, meandering through the streets and finally delta myself at the park. My favorite spot; everybody here to there last tissue feels the shittiest possible way;my brothers to whom i never speak,never dine, never drink but who understands me all the same. The serial fag from different buttts, all one in a big smoke. The mosquito bites cued me to leave. Thought for a long time on how to waste more time.settled for a walk back home for the hundredth time(where is my creativity?).Home looks just like it always did.The diner broadened my tummy.An argument with tv left me defeated. Finally a confession to my journal. Will go to sleep prayin to find a better way to feel about myself.Hoping to live to write another day,
your lover
the loner.
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